LAREDO, Texas - (Satire News) - United States Drug Enforcement Administration Agents stationed in Laredo, are reporting one of the biggest cocaine seizures in recent history.
DEA spokesperson Grover P. Zander, 42, said that the 4,000 pounds of refined Yucatan White has a street value of $3.6 billion.
It was found hidden in hundreds of Christmas ornaments that had been manufactured at the Zacatecas Holiday Season Ornaments Factory in downtown Zacatecas.
Zander said that the cocaine ornamentss were found in a U-Haul truck that had Massachusetts license plates XYZ129732.
He noted that the drug dog, named Pedro, started jumping two feet off the ground when he sensed the cocaine, which was graded as A++.
Federal agents took the 4,000 pounds of coke and tossed it into the Rio Grande River where it will eventually end up in the Gulf of Mexico.
