Whatever Happened To The Billy Club?

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Saturday, 24 April 2021

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Whatever became of the billy club? In Turner Classic black-and-white films, police officers walked the beat in twos, billy clubs at the waist, know their neighborhood, the residents by name, and never have shoot outs or speed through streets in squad cars emulating Steve McQueen in Bullet.

Today, police officers' guns discharge accidentally or mistakenly or "gosh-gee", and an innocent citizen can be shot dead in bed at 3 AM. As taxpayers who pay the officer’s salary, shot dead in bed is not the kind of return expected.

Woe betide if you are black or brown or have a dark suntan. Color aside, if you dare to have air fresheners hanging in your car, you can be stopped, arrested (if lucky), or shot dead (if unlucky).

Taxpayers should not depend on luck. If an officer can’t distinguish a .8oz yellow taser from a black 1lb.8oz Gluck, that officer should remain at a desk job. Also, the officer should re-take the driver's license exam.

Death comes too easily with a gun in hand. Police are supposed to protect the taxpayer, not kill them. Taxpayers should not be treated like Al Qaeda or the Taliban.

The Billy Club maintained law and order. Police officers in Turner Classic films were respected, not feared. They were there to protect society, not with a gun or a knee or a taser or tear gas.

True, like clocks, time moves forward, not backward. But in some parts of the USA, it’s easier to buy a gun than to vote, which is backward.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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