The following text messages were compiled by Tittle Tattle Tonight's senior reporter, Pico de Gallo. De Gallo graduated Summa Cum Okra from The Doc Holliday School of Dentistry, in Tombstone, Arizona. He is presently writing a trivia book titled, 'Why Do Salmon Have To Swim Upstream To Mate - Can't They Screw Where They're At?'
Dear Tittle Tattle Tonight – There is no way that anyone in America, even hard-core Democrats, would want to see someone as sweet as me, not to mention as beautiful as me, sentenced to prison.
(aka Daddy’s Little Girl)
Dear Ivanka – Dream on little bitch. The decent citizens of the U.S. would love to see you go to prison, simply because you deserve to go to prison.
Dear 3T – I do not know why everyone seems to think that the president is boinking me. Believe me, it’s not true. But if it was, it would really be no one’s fucking business, but Spanky's and mine.
Dear Hope – Okey dokey, hokey pokey bitch.
Dear Tittle Tattle Tonight - I just want to remind you that after Trump the Chump leaves the White House, I will provide you with the 90 nude photos of him, that we talked about back in September.
Beverly Hills, California
Dear Stormy – Okay. Thank you sweetheart.
Dear Mr. de Gallo – I have finally decided to release the secret tape, I recorded when I appeared on NBC’s “The Apprentice.” You remember the one, where Trump used the “N” word 17 times.
West Hollywood, California
Dear Mr. Arnold – Good for you sir. But if you had released it back before the 2016 presidential election, you would have saved the entire nation all the bigotry, racism, hate, and 20,000 plus lies that the #piece of shit tossed out on a daily basis.