Fauci discovered lurking near Washington Monument with Obedience Training Manual in back pocket

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Saturday, 14 November 2020

image for Fauci discovered lurking near Washington Monument with Obedience Training Manual in back pocket
Polls indicate some hesitation with Fauci's message

Mr. Fauci's current stand on the need for the American people to “just do what you're told” took on new tones and insinuations this evening.

Investigators found him pacing near the famous monument to George Washington which, according to historians, is a tribute to the first president's “military leadership, statesmanship, and wisdom.”

Nearby, is the equally famous reflecting pool meant to remind one of the values of freedom and independence in the citizenry since the Revolution.

As with the first amendment to the Constitution:
Congress shall make no law . . . abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Mr. Fauci took out of his pocket a training manual created by himself.

Its title: “Obedience Training for This Time of Virus, Scientific Analysis, and Who Knows What Else!”

Mr. Fauci had just announced in a TV interview that Americans must come around to “just do what you're told.”

Investigation does not yet confirm that Mr. Fauci's manual includes suggestions for accompanying salutes.

One such salute, with the arm raised high from the shoulder, fingers extended, has not yet been suggested, along with an accompanying, “Yes, boss!”

The problem with current resistance, according to Mr. Fauci, is not the vagueness in reports of Covid-19 cases and what they mean.

*As with "positive" at-

-mild (the President was recently diagnosed ill on a Friday and was back in the office by Monday)
-troubling like a severe flu
-severe (especially with comorbidities).

*Nor the relationship of cases to death rates, which have not increased significantly.

*Nor to questions on how good the testing is (Elon Musk for example just said he tested four times in one day to 2 negative results and 2 positives).

*Nor to indications of conflict of interest, as with Bill Gates and Mr. Fauci himself due to ties to the pharmaceutical and vaccines industries.

*Nor to a modern culture of capitalism and what some call “disease harvesting” which Mr. Washington might have considered unduly nasty for a liberty-loving nation.

No. The problem is that the American people are now defying “science” (although numerous scientists are in dispute) and are “not doing what you're told.”

Independence is all very fine, according to Mr. Fauci, unless it interferes with government planning for the security and longevity of those running the nation.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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