Pandemic Rhapsody (with apologies to Queen)

Written by Matt Birkenhauer

Friday, 26 June 2020

image for Pandemic Rhapsody (with apologies to Queen)
Blunderbuss and lying, very, very frightening to me!

Is this the real life? Is this a bad nightmare?
Caught in a clusterfuck, no escape from reality
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see
He’s just a con man, he needs no sympathy
Because he’s easy come, easy go, little nuts, always slow
Any way the plague blows, doesn't really matter to him, to him.

Donald, just killed 120,00
Put a gun against their head, through incompetence they’re dead
Donald, life was going on
But now you’ve gone and thrown it all away!
Donald, ooh, you make everybody cry
As the deaths continue to ratchet up,
You carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters

(Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time
Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, ooh! Any wind the Don blows
I don't wanna die
I sometimes wish he’d never been born at all.)

[Kazoo solo]

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Donald Trump, Donald Trump, will you shut the fuck up?
Blunderbuss and lying, very, very frightening to me!
(Bolsonaro) Bolsonaro, ( Bolsonaro) Bolsonaro, he also has to go!
But Don’s just a con man, nobody loves him
He's just a con man from a rich family
Spare us all from his incompetence!

Easy come, easy go, can we vote him out?
Let’s vote now! Yes, we will now vote him out!
(Let him go!) Let’s vote now! We will now let him go!
(Let him go!) Let’s vote now! We will now let him go!
(Let him go!) Will now let him go
(Let him go!) Will now let him go
(Never, never, never, never vote for him again!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
(Oh, mamma mia, mamma mia) Mamma mia, let him go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for him, for him, for him!

So you think you can stand him, and look in my eye?
So you think you can love him, and leave us to die?
Oh, baby, can't do this to us, baby!
Just gotta get out, just gotta get out and vote!


(Ooh)
(Ooh, yeah, ooh, yeah)
Nothing really matters, any fool can see
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters to Trump
Any way the wind blows

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more