Trump Says: Get Me Out Of Here

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Monday, 18 May 2020

image for Trump Says: Get Me Out Of Here
"Get me out of here!"

Trying in every which way, Donald J. Trump, really, (as Sally Field might say) wants to get out of the White House. The job is too hard. The presidency, being head of state, all that Hail To The Chief music, the Secret Service, morning briefings, wearing a tie every day, Cabinet meetings, having to read stuff with big words, more presentations, the whole enchilada.

Trump wants out!

It just isn’t the moneymaker he expected, or that Putin promised. Yes, there’s free hamburgers at his beck and call, and Air Force One (he does love that bird), but the gig is just too much hard work, or just too much work for Donald T.

So, while attempting to remove himself from office, Trump has tried every scheme from banning Muslims to blatantly spending taxpayer money building walls to keep Mexicans out. How much more racist can a president get in a democracy? And no one in his party has even said squeak!

His latest attempt to be removed from office was to get rid of all the Inspector Generals. The I.Gs. Police government departments for any shenanigans. They’re gone or going fast. Vamoose! They were replaced with Jared’s pals. Jared's running out of pals.

But Mitch McConnell just keeps purring like a Persian cat, ignoring all misdeeds, too busy appointing youthful, inexperienced, conservative judges to the bench, who presumedly will live forever.

Pence is half asleep. He doesn’t want the big job. Gets out of bed to look official standing behind Trump during Trump’s coronavirus briefings, swaying while trying to stay awake.

But if Pence and Trump were to leave office, to spend more time with their families, the White House would go to The Wicked Witch Of The West, Nancy Pelosi!

“That sardine, Pelosi, is running the country better than I ever could.”

So, have some respect, as Roger Dangerfield might have said. Give Trump what he wants: Get Trump out of the White House!

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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