World in CRISIS!

Written by Gee Pee

Monday, 22 July 2019

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The world is in crisis (even if you are too stupid or ignorant to realize it; that's why we have the media)

The news media like to keep us in crises. There is a crisis for everyone, it seems. Here are a few of the crises in which you, right now, may well be involved (even if you didn't know it):

Water crisis
Fentanyl crisis
Heroin crisis
Suez crisis (Suez only)
Iran Gulf crisis (Iran Gulf only)
Oil tanker crisis
Fiscal crisis (India only)
Lagos PDP crisis (Lagos only)
Waste crisis
Mental health crisis
Opioid crisis
Addiction crisis
Karnataka political crisis (Karnataka, India, only)
Kentucky pension crisis (Kentucky only)
Debt crisis
Boris Johnson as British prime minister crisis (UK only)
Michigan water crisis (Michigan only)
2008 crisis
Economy crisis (Iran only)
Venezuela crisis (Venezuela only)
737 Max crisis (Boeing only)
Popularity crisis
Humanitarian crisis
Drug shortage crisis (Massachusetts General Hospital only)
Sacramento hostage crisis (Sacramento only)
Health crisis (not to be confused with mental health crisis)
Public safety crisis (Alaska only)
Climate crisis
Repeated Cuban missile crisis
Dino crisis
Petersborough housing crisis (Petersborough only)
Pregnancy crisis
Coconut crisis
Mortgage bond crisis
Oil crisis
Homelessness crisis (California only)
Company crisis
Tax loan crisis (New York City only)
Retirement savings crisis
Virginity crisis (Japan only)
Existential crisis
Behavioral health crisis
Ebola crisis (Democratic Republic of Congo and Tanzania only)
Senate crisis
Group home visit rates crisis (Maine only)
Tuition debt crisis
Beef crisis (Wales only)
Housing affordability crisis (Sacramento only)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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