The Sunday Papers Review

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 24 February 2019

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The Sunday Bollox

For those readers who don't have the time to read the news in full, here's a snapshot of what some of the leading Sunday rags are reporting.

Royal Couple Arrive In Monaco - (The Sunday Error)
Harry and Meghan were scheduled to visit Morocco, but something is amiss - full story

Theresa May Warns Brexit Might Go Either Way - (The Sunday Obvious)
The PM says we must be prepared for a prefectly-smooth Brexit, one that could go tits-up, or anything else in-between, as you would expect


Police In High-Speed Chase With Men On Tandem - (The Lies On Sunday)
Two shoplifters on a tandem evade two bobbies who pursued them on foot for 14 miles in Essex. Eyewitnesses said "it was like a chase in slow-motion"


Tommy Robinson To Run For PM - (The Sunday Halfwit)
Man of the people, Tommy Robinson, declares his intention to run in the Luton by-election in March, under the banner of the English Livestream League (ELL)


Shamima Begum Obtains Fake Passport - (News of the Wewld)
The plucky former ISIS pin-up girl has made it back to Bethnal Green with false documents that were a piece of piss to obtain - half the story


Only 299 Shopping Days To Christmas! - (The Sunday Nonsense)
Xmas shopping hysteria, including a 48-page pull-out-and-keep guide plus free advent calendar


Manchester United Manager To Be A Woman? - (Sunday Shite)
Could it happen? Probably not, but don't worry, it's only made-up shit to keep you from thinking about washing the car, or cutting the grass!


Hull City Lose Again - (Hull Daily Mail)
The Tigers go down 5-1 at Brentford, though it seems they got off lightly. Read an in-depth analysis complete with the spelling, grammar and punctuation of a 5-year-old primary school student

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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