New White House parrot uses Alexa plus offers up foul-mouthed diatribes

Written by joseph k winter

Tuesday, 18 December 2018

image for New White House parrot uses Alexa plus offers up foul-mouthed diatribes
Rocco also experiments in a special parrot den in the White House basement

Thanks to a generous parrot owner in London, the White House now has a new pet—the multi-talented Rocco, including his cursing.

With a sigh, Marion Wischnewski, who previously rescued the parrot from a sanctuary where he was being expelled due to his foul mouth, said she, too, had to give him away.

“The White House might just be the place to teach him some self-control,” she said.

Rocco’s talents extend beyond ability with a wild stream of profanity.

Marion would arrive home to find Rocco had been conversing with Alexa, Amazon’s voice assistant.

Rocco had ordered watermelon, ice cream, and a kettle, which were not on her shopping list.

He also regularly ordered up music in Marion’s home to which he responded with dance steps on his perch.

At the White House, however, outgoing Chief of Staff General Kelly is not so sure.

“Some troops never do grasp what’s appropriate to the mission,” he said.

The General added: “His continual ‘F**k you, you c**ks**kers’ is not always welcome first thing in the morning.”

There are also indications Rocco quickly concluded he should become Chief of Staff, since the position is filled only by a temporary replacement, Mick Mulvaney.

White House personnel were bewildered to find new rules for protocol, visitor appointments, meal times, and parrot snacks.

Rocco has been orchestrating these matters (via Alexa again) along with having developed a taste for rap music and tapping his right foot on his perch.

Mr. Trump says the bird is completely happy, and a welcome addition to “add some variety” after the tedium of regularity under General Kelly.

The President is reported in long conversations with the bird over strategy for the 2020 election, now underway and being coordinated with the RNC.

“And guess what,” the President told FOX News. “He hasn’t called me a f**king moron! Not even once!”

Melania, however, is reported less pleased, and it is rumored she thinks the bird is trying to romance her behind Mr. Trump’s back.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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