Born To Spoof New Beginnings CH 4: Clone Ride To Oblivion

Funny story written by JinoLeFeeto

Friday, 6 July 2018

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A Birthmark or Mark?

The sheets of silk were nowhere near as smooth as #4's thighs. I woke with them wrapped around my head. As I lay there admiring the scenery I noticed a tatoo I'd never noticed before, "#007".

I reluctantly I gently extricated myself for a call of nature. When I returned she was sitting up, "We'll be there soon." she said brushing her hair aside to show one of her green eyes.

"Where is there exactly?" I asked slowly scanning the floor for my clothes.

"Calais," she said softly, but we still have a little time she said taking my right hand and pulling me back to the bed.

"Why is the #007 on your thigh?" I asked as she wrapped her legs around me, "I don't remember that..."
"Mark has us all tatooed like cattle, he considers, " she said calmly as if it were nothing to her.

"But, you are known to him as #4?" I said confused.
"Actually he thinks I'm #7, but that's his mistake as I'm not a clone at all, I'm the original, the only one with a birthmark," she said coyly, "I let him think it because...he has a soft spot for her, helps me get away with....murder sometimes."

"Oh," I said kissing her lips, "And so where is the birthmark exactly?"
"That...." she said pulling the sheets over the top of our heads, "is for me to know and you to find."

No man should argue with that logic. Certainly not me. An hour later the hydrofoil settle gently into a private marina near Calais, France. She lead me off of the craft and to a waiting Fiat in a parking area.

"Were going into the Chunnel, but not all the way...we'll get off the train part way," she said.
"Isn't that a bit fast to jump from at 200 mph?" I asked.
"Don't worry luv, I know how to make the train stop," she winked.
"That's what worries me," I replied, "What exactly is your plan when we find our dear Editor?"

"Well," she said, "A little reunion I guess, but then I thought we'd kill him."
"Oh," I said surprised at how low my objection was to this idea, "And supposing he isn't...cooperative." The Fiat's brakes squeeled and the car jerked to a halt.

"Look I came to get you to help me, not be the ruddy Spanish inquisition, I've had it with this life, I'm through working for this bastard, he HAS TO GO! So make up your mind, you're either with me or against me there is no in between this time. Oh and no time in the laundry chute with me til the job is done!"
"Wow you are serious, well okay then," I attempted a laugh.

We boarded the train with tickets she was carrying and sat somewhere near the middle. Seven took out her phone and opened an app I'd never seen before, but it looked like simulator for the train, with controls. We went from 0 to 298 in about 2 minutes. Seven put her finger on the slide control for the accelerator and gently brought the train to a stop. She put the phone in a pocket of her jeans and amid the ensuing malais we quietly slipped out the door we came in and into the Chunnel.

It was remarkably well lit and big and Seven seemed to know exactly where she was going as we entered a maintenance door with a magnetic key card she seemingly pulled from nowhere. Inside the door it appeared to be nothing but a mop closet, only about 4 x 6 ft. Seven leaned down and pulled back a rubber mat revealing...a laundry chute.

"It's left over from The Spoof building," she said as she jumped in and disappeared. What memories this was bringing back, I dove in head first.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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