Born to Spoof New Beginnings CH 3: The U-Tube

Funny story written by JinoLeFeeto

Tuesday, 26 June 2018

image for Born to Spoof New Beginnings CH 3: The U-Tube
"Release the Earthworms!" Shouted Mark.

"Release the earthworms!" shouted Mark with a maniacal laugh, at the 40 something writers chained to each other in the tunnel. Each opened up styrofoam cups of dirt and worms and dumped them into the darkness of the tunnel in front of them. The thousands of earthworms lay in clumps clinging to one another, barely moving.

An enraged Mark shrieked at the writers, "Why aren't they bloody well digging?! Whose idea was this?!"

"Yore's sire," said a voice meekly.

"WHAT?!" bellowed Mark, "It said on the cartons 'Red Wigglers'! At this rate we'll take a hundred years to get to Beijing! Where is the Monkey?"

A man with a black trench coat and black sunglasses standing nearby cleared his throat, "Yo".

"Where the 'ell's my bloody entrenching machine at? You said it would be here by now not these putrid earthworms!!"

"Sire it is still being built these things take time. Why not just create a portal like we did in the old days?"

"Because SOMEBODY forget to change the f'ing Battries! And the contaks got all corroded!!"

"Bleedin' Gerbil pee you jackass!" said the Monkey, "You left the portal too close to the Gerbil cage back at the Spoof."

"They're just Gerbils Monkey, fer cryin' outloud you writers exaggerate everythin'!"

"200lb bleedin' big varmints you daft bastard! They about killed me once you sick twit! When was the last time you did any editin'? You're always trying to take over the world on the backs of us writers! Workin for you fer nothin'! Well I've had it mate! You want to build a tunnel with earthworms it's your ruddy ass not mine, I'm outta here!

"No, no, no, no wait Monk! Pleeeeze! Mark turned in a panic, ran to the Monkey and grabbed his arm, "Yore the last of them that would even talk to me, I've got nobody else....well this new lot here, but they're expendable, but YOU mate, YOU always stuck up fer me and didn't I always fergive ya? Even after you all left me for dead and burned down the Spoof? I never pressed charges agaainst yeh."

"Yeh you're an effing peach Lowton, so what's in it for me and none of this FUTURE stuff, I want payment up front......

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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