Written by Jalapenoman

Thursday, 17 May 2007

image for Paris Hilton Drops Appeal on Prison Sentence
Who will spend three weeks alone in a cell with Paris?

Paris Hilton has dropped her appeal and appears resigned to serve out her forty five day prison sentence for D.W.I. and driving with a suspended license. She admitted to her publicist today that she hopes she is such a good girl that she does get half of the time off for good behaviour.

"If I'm only in for a couple of weeks, then I figure in those 23 days I'll miss 12 parties. It shouldn't ruin my reputation that much. In fact, being a hardened criminal may give me more street cred!"

Paris also pleaded with prison officials to allow Tinkerbell to be her cellmate. "She's been a bad doggie," said Hilton. "She piddled in a Taxi cab the other day, and my lawyer tells me that this is public urination. She also squeezed out of her little, pink silk dress and this is public nudity. She was a bad dog and needs to get punished for her crimes."

When told by a judge that her chihuahua would not be her cellmate, Hilton took a different tact. "What about Britney? Any day of the week you can get her on the public intoxication and the public nudity."

"There's also Nicole and her driving problems from a couple of months ago? What about Denise Richards throwing laptops at old ladies? What about Lindsay Lohan's falling out of her dress? What about any of those American Idol girls posting their pictures on the internet? I'm sure you can find me a young, rich, famous skank somewhere!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
91 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more