Israeli rabbis are getting a fashion change, and some couldn’t be happier.
(Others, however, are very angry, as many rabbis are when things don’t go their way and they don’t get free money for doing nothing but chanting all day and making everyone feel guilty for being alive … breathe …)
Instead of basic black with the occasional shawl of white and black thrown in, the rabbis will take a few hints from the drag fashion shows in America and start a pastel fashion line!
Who’s that sexy rabbi all in puce and neon lime and cobalt blue and royal jelly purple? It’s Shlomo, and he’s looking fabulous! I wanna Torah with him all night long! Let’s watch as he does his little turn on the catwalk … shake it, rabbi, sell your money-maker like a shiksa!
Once one Israeli rabbi sees the new fashion show, they’re all gonna wanna look their best – like a rainbow of rabbis! And new laws in Jerusalem are being written so that catwalks can be erected in front of the Wailing Wall to bring even more converts to the new version of Judaism … pastel Jews are making news!
As some try to pray, others will be spinning their rainbows all over the catwalk and banging heads against the drab fashion that has existed for too damn long.
Head to the Wailing Wall for the latest haute couture that will make Jehovah roll over and Yahweh feel so gay …
… will peace finally come with rainbow rabbis? Only the next 6000 years can say for sure …
PS: Palestinian will not be allowed to attend any shows … they are forbidden to enjoy rainbows, even ones in the phosphorus-filled sky.