FORT MYERS, Florida - (Satire News) - Cosmos News Service reporter Dylan Fresco, reports that Fort Myers police investigated a report filed by a local drug dealer who said that after Hurricane Ian hit, looters broke into his car and made off with 79 pounds of Durango Bango marijuana.
The dealer identified as Cordell "The Money Man" Washington-Jefferson, told police that he had just received the pot from a drug pusher from Colombia.
Cordell told the police that he is willing to give whoever finds the grass a reward of $25,000, no questions asked.
Meanwhile, police have told Mr. Washington-Jefferson not to worry about it because he is being taken into custody, where he will stand trail and possibly be out of circulation for 8 to 10 years.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: According to FMPD, the marijuana has a street value of $158,000.]
