VALDOSTA, Georgia - (Satire News) - Donald Trump was in Valdosta getting an estimate on having botox done on his third and fourth chins.
While in the doctor's waiting room he was asked by a reporter with The Cloud 9 News Agency if it was true that he is only sleeping 15 minutes a night, due to the fact that he is worried like hell about going to prison.
Trump gave the reporter the once over and asked her for her name.
She replied that her name was Lexi Aspen, and she told him to stop focusing on her tits and look her in the eyes.
The former Golfer-in-Chief said that he can't help it, and that sometimes he just reverts to his pussy-grabbing days.
"How about answering my question fella?"
Melania's soon-to-be-ex-husband told her that he is so damn depressed that he has seriously considered overdosing on Big Macs.
Miss Aspen shook her head and replied, "How sad that your evil, racist, predatorial ways have now reduced you into a sad little-fingered asshole."
