'Sloppy Joes' burger joint envoy in London traveled to Los Angeles to evacuate the country's famous eatery building after emergency rat control found a rotting 30-ton grease ball underneath the burger establishment. It all started with a tour guid…
A MCDONALD’S fan Andy Dung, who believes he has the ultimate “Big Mac hack” has been called a lunatic by his school mates. Everton East ghetto dweller, Sir Andy Dung, whose Dad brought him home after a stay at a state mental hospital has claimed…
CHICAGO - (Fast Food Satire) - The Cloud 9 News Agency has just broken the story that Whataburger Inc. has become America's first fast food restaurant to add valet parking. Lexi Aspen, with Cloud 9, notes that Whataburgers are so good that even ex…
George Santos has opened his own BBQ beef burger restaurant, and he’s hoping it grows into a chain that crisscrosses America, so that “Everybody Can Git A Taste of George!” But the story just gets juicier. Ace crack reporter, Ace Crackington, went…
A new health food store has opened in Oklahoma, and many of the locals don’t like it … but not for the reason you think. It’s called “Trans Fat”, which is an odd name for a health food store. The Americans are okay with the word “fat” since, to th…
The Dogburger is exactly what it sounds like. Here in Los Angeles, people are trying the sandwich out of curiosity. Californians are historically adventurous eaters - Remember the 'Donner Pass' event? Anyway, the Jade Dog is a big commercial…
VALDOSTA, Georgia - (Satire News) - Donald Trump was in Valdosta getting an estimate on having botox done on his third and fourth chins. While in the doctor's waiting room he was asked by a reporter with The Cloud 9 News Agency if it was true that…
A recent study by top Geneva body-weight index scientists have found an exciting new co-relation between fat and fuel. One can solve the other! Which country has the most overweight people in the world? It’s not America, but American Samoa. Cou…
American hamburgers will soon be injected with more fat, according to the Food & Drug Administration. Americans have been losing weight by going to vast Trump rallies and/or protests, plus being perpetually scared of each other, wondering whic…
Donald Trump has a burger restaurant … or the burger restaurant has him. MAGA lovers can now munch on a “Donny Burger”. One patron said this about her burger: “I love taking a big bite outa Trump’s meat!” Another patron named Billy Joe Bob Cle…
IN-A-GADDA-DA-VIDA, Virginia – (Satire News) – Five Guys Burgers first came into being in 1986, and now 35 years later, they have just announced that they will be changing their corporate name. Five Guys executives state that effective immediately…
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The latest fast food poll taken by the nation’s number one polling organization, Quinnipinni, has shocked many fans of fast food eateries. Q Director Derek Waterwell, informed the national public that the extensive 11-mon…
KABUL, Afghanistan – (Satire News) – The McDonalds Corporation is happy to announce that their McDonalds restaurant in downtown Kabul is having record sales. A spokesperson for Afghanistan’s national Two-Humped News Agency stated that since introd…
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – In what fast food pundits are calling the dumbest idea in the world of fast food, the McDonalds McSauerkraut Burger has ridden off to that Burger Paradise in the Sky. A reporter with Hollywood Hors Doeuvres asked a Mickey…
IRVINE, California - The In-N-Out hamburger chain commented that they do not recall sex pervert Ghislaine Maxwell ever eating at their establishment as she has stated. Maxwell told one of the jail guards who is guarding her that her favorite hambu…
DETROIT – The beef shortage has already caused the price of beef to shoot through the roof. One customer at a Wendy’s in Detroit, ordered the Baconator burger. And when he opened his container box, he noticed that the two meats were both the si...
(Chicago, IL) In a surprising move, fast-food giant McDonald’s added “Barrel of Crude Oil” to their world-wide menu offerings yesterday, where it is featured on the Value Menu or Dollar Menu joining all-time favorites the McChicken and the McDouble.
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