MAR-A-LAGO - (US Satire) - Donald Trump is not quite ready to apply for food stamps, but to hear the Nazi-lover talk you'd think he was just two degrees from being homeless.
His wife, Melania has left his predatorial ass, and his oldest daughter, Ivanka, has told Anderson Cooper that she hated for her dad to kiss her on the mouth because on three different occasions she ended up with Big Mac sesame seeds in her mouth.
The Lighthouse Press News Agency reports that he is expecting his attorney fees to be astronomical - roughly around $20 to $25 million, which the cheap, racist, bastard won't pay anyway.
Treason Trump's one and only friend, Fox News puppet, Greg "The Rodent" Gutfeld said that Donado told him that he is going to sell 8 by 10 glossy autographed photos of himself in order to subsidize his upcoming 2024 campaign.
SIDENOTE: Meanwhile Trump's former ass kissing buddy, Sean Hannity stated on his show that DJT does not need to worry about raising money for his 2024 presidential run, because by the end of this year, his orange ass will be wearing an orange prison jumpsuit.
