MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - The much-hated, despised, and totally worthless Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump has finally, FINALLY found someone in the United States who he actually likes and who likes him.
Melania Trump has just informed info guru Andy Cohen that her twice-impeached, one-term president husband has just fallen head-over-heels in love with Elon Musk.
The Slovenian-born beauty, who hates her "husbandt" even more than cat-burglars hate the daylight, stated that ever since Elon Musk remarked that he is going to buy Twitter for $44.1 million and that he will "Unban" the racist, low-life, predatorial has-been piece of goat shit who was born Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump, Donaldo has been pissing in his pants with unbridled joy.
Melania even stated that the man who likes playing golf even more than he likes to play with her very ample, succulent tits, told his blank-stare daughter Ivanka, that if he was a female he would be all over Elon Musk like cheese on a pizza.
Meanwhile...Melania told her BFF Meghan Markle that her beau LeBron James, is 19 times the man that her orange-colored panties-wearing guy-bitch is.
