TALLAHASSEE, Florida – (Satire News) – The Plywood State of Florida has just announced that there are now more nude beaches in the state than in all of the other 49 states together.
A spokesperson for the state stated that the weather along with the fact that Floridian Generation Z’ers are not the least bit fucking shy about walking around with their peckers (cocks), their hooha’s (pussies), and their bazongas (tits), hanging out.
The bad part is that only one in 173 of these GZers, as President Joey Biden calls them, bother to wear a protective medical mask.
The states reports that as of January 25, 2022, the Tangerine State had a total of 803 nude beaches from Pensacola to Miami Beach.
The largest of these birthday suit beaches is Playa De Las Nalgas, which can accommodate a little over 3,907 naked beachgoers.
SIDENOTE: The nude Florida beaches are so popular that even Moscow’s Kremlin has advertisements through the premises telling it’s citizens to go to Florida for the nude beaches, the fabulous orange juice, and the pleasantly pleasant pussy.
