Marjorie Taylor Greene has former links to a fitness organization, and still loves to work out. Her body is toned and taut and tight, and she likes to keep it that way to prepare for her next conspiracy theory debate with the Evil Democrats. While…
KEY WEST, Florida – (Satire News) – In a move that has drawn criticism and ire from millions of overweight people throughout America, the Sleek & Slender Gym located in Key West, has just implemented a new policy. A spokesperson for the S&…
As millions of Brits are feeling flabby after the Christmas break, one man has taken the revolutionary step of announcing his new fitness regime. Kevin Sponge, 46, said, 'Yes, I know I've said this every year since 2004, but this time it's going t…
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – Police were called to The Fit-As-Fiddle Fitness Center after several people called 911 about a huge fight that broke out in the main exercise room. According to several eye witnesses, the brouhaha began when a white w…
After buying a set of dumbells in the first lockdown, Gary Johnson regrets buying a second set, as he lost the first set. 'Now I have two sets of dumbells, and I regret buying the first one' said the easily confused chap. 'I couldn't believe it…
Donald Smith of Basingstoke has broken his only new year's resolution in only one day. The Office worker claimed that he wanted to get fit, and joined a gym, paying more than £1,500 for the year's membership, but the chap told us that it is now 17...
NASHVILLE, TN- With the new year fast approaching, YMCA of Hendersonville announced yesterday they will be hiring 2 million seasonal employees to help combat the massive influx of people expected to make an appearance during the first week of the New...
BOWLING GREEN, KY- After years of unhealthy eating and a sedentary lifestyle, Alex Witzgall, 26, told himself he would go to the gym. Tomorrow. "Yeah, well, I'd go this evening after work, but I have to watch the Pats game," he thought to himself...
The newest exercise craze combines "Throw-back Thursday", green living, altruism, weight loss, and fitness into the hottest new trend in the US. Instead of lifting weights and taking last year's aerobic class, gym members are assigned manual labor in...
SAN DIEGO, CA -- Students and officials at San Diego State University (SDSU), like the rest of the world (or at least Europe, Canada, and the United States), are learning that it is nature that is wrong, and not transgender persons, in insisting that...
VENICE BEACH, CA-Gym bros of local resident Justin Fox are becoming tired of his refusal to see other viewpoints. They claim he is totally unwilling to hear out any reasons why doing cardio as a part of his regular work out routine is stealing all of...
Cleveland, Tn. A lady who must have filled up on burritos and beer cleared a whole section of basketball fans at the High Street Owls playoff game, Saturday night. Although it cannot be proven a Ms. Maggie Sweat was the first one to jump up and l...
One: Ugghhh! Two: Oooooofff! Three: Aaarrgh! Four: Yuccccchhhh! Five: Grrrmmmppp! Six: Are you alright? Seven: Help! Eight: Where's the AED? Nine: Anyone know CPR, goddammit! Ten: Hello, 911? Meanwhile, there is a certain gym culture that needs to be abolished. Cleaning the equipment...
Hugh Jackman got the surprise of his life during the weekend. An ugly looking woman that appeared drunk screamed out "I love you Wolverine" as she chased the handsome actor with a bowl of linguine while he was at a New York City gym, Jackman's pub...
To many, he's the amazing Spider-Man. But he's not that amazing to the owners of a gym on the upper East side of Manhattan. They had given him a temporary pass to use the gym facilities, but they're not pleased with his behavior. They've confirmed what was only a rumor: that they've turned down Spidey for permanent membership. These are the reasons they gave: -- Spider-Man refuses to us...
I had somehow managed to almost strangle myself during the night, and I woke up as tired as when I went to sleep. The nightie was described as sexy. I now appreciate that the moniker was attached by somebody who had never worn it. Red lace may leave little to the imagination, but it should not, under any circumstances be worn by anyone with skin. Lace may be the sexiest material on the planet, but...
A local fitness fan is campaigning for legislation to end what she describes as music crime. Egregia Nimitz is a member of the local branch of a national chain of gyms and has been horrified by what she hears during their classes. Now Mrs Nimit...
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