BROOKLYN, New York – (Satire News) – According to the News Blues News Agency, the singer known as Madonna is devasted at the fact that she is no longer relevant and most people under the age of 40 have never even heard of her.
Madonna, whose real name is Madonna Louise Betty Repunsela Ciccone, was somewhat popular in the late 70’s and early 80’s with a string of hits that included “Like A Virgin,” “Papa Don’t Preach,” “Material Girl," “La Isla Bonita,” “Papa Please I Told You Not To Preach To Me,” “Material Mon,” “Don’t Cry For Me Afghanistan,” and “Material Grandmother.”
Her number one hit song was titled “69,” and it sold over 4 million records worldwide. The song became a number one hit in, surprisingly enough 69, of the world’s 195 countries; including Zimbabwe, Uruguay, Mongolia, Slovenia, and Lower Zamgola.
Information guru Andy Cohen recently said that Madonna texted him and told him that she had recently gotten a tattoo of a microphone on her hooha (pussy).
The arrogantly conceited singer was once married to bad boy actor Sean Penn, who once said of the now Material Grandmother, that she had a fucking temper that could make Atilla the Hun, Adolf Hitler, and Emperor Hirohito, seem like Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty.
SIDENOTE: Blues News reporter Velveeta Maracas, who interviewed Madonna at a Brooklyn McDonalds, noted that Donita, as her gynecologist calls her, is 63, but she looks 83, due to an addiction to self-stress.
