TAMPA BAY, Florida – (Satire News) – Reporter April Jiggle with The Scuttlebutt Review has broken the story regarding Madonna’s political aspirations and intentions.
The 63-year-old resident of New York told Miss Jiggle that ever since 1998, she has held dual citizenship in Florida as well as in New York.
Madonna said that she was able to get it when she was dating O.J. Simpson attorney Alan Dershowitz and the two traded favors for sex, as they say in Las Vegas, aka “Sin City.”
The songtress who had hits with “Material Girl,” “Papa Don’t Preach,” and “Don’t Cry For Me Afghanistan,” said that she has already received campaign donations totaling $47 million.
When asked where the money came from, she replied that $18 million came from Bezos-Musk, Inc., $13 million came from Barbra Streisand, $9 million came from Bill and Hillary Clinton, and $7 came from the NFL Tampa Bay Buccaneers players.
Meanwhile, Las Vegas oddsmakers say that early Quinnipinni Polls show that Madonna will defeat Gov. "Asshole" DeSantis by a 74% to 26% margin
