ITV have announced a new talent show to begin filming in the summer across the UK. Contestants are being asked to apply for the yet-to-be-named TV show, which may be called "Scrote Idol" or "The Scrotal Factor".
Alongside Cowell, the other confirmed regular judges will be Barry from Eastenders and Carol Vorderman, both of whom have extensive experience with ballsacks. Ant and Dec are contractually obliged to present, and will be dressed as usual as individual bollocks.
The judges will be looking for uniquely talented testes to introduce to a nationwide audience. A spokesman explained, "In particular we are looking for scrotums with talent - if they can juggle or perform ventriloquism that would be fantastic. But the winner will also have to be a good looking scrote."
Critics have called Cowell "a disgrace" for the idea. TV reviewer Geoff Ratings said, "This is really scraping the barrel. Why can't Cowell just stay in his massive f**k-off mansion and leave us all alone? It's unfortunate that a lot of people will be tempted to get their scrotums out for the offer of a £50 prize and the chance to get their nuts out on television."
Cowell is said to be planning a follow-up TV show called "The Masked Testicle".
