MAR-A-LAGO, Florida – (Satire News) – Officers from the Palm Beach Police Department investigated a call that they received from Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate.
According to the twice-impeached, one-term former resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, D.C. the sexual predator claims that a gigantic drone the size of a very expensive yacht, swooped down at approximately 2:40 am and carried off a statue of the Trumptard’s all-time, favorite idol; Adolf “Fuck Face” Hitler.
Trump, who Melania has stated on-record suffers from ED, told the investigating officers that he paid $3.8 for the statue.
When asked where the hell he got such an ugly-looking, piece-of-shit statue, he replied that it is not ugly, and then added that he bought it through his favorite magazine, Nazi Relics, Artifacts, and Other Racist Shit Illustrated Magazine.
SIDENOTE: The officers gave the racist bitch a much-needed drug and alcohol test.
