Grabbing The 2020 Election By The Pussy

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 19 January 2022

image for Grabbing The 2020 Election By The Pussy
"I'd sure pretend to be a member of the Electoral College for a shot of red eye."

An attempt was made to steal the 2020 election by reassigning Biden Electoral College votes to the loser Donald Trump.

It was cheating. Like cheating on your spouse, on your taxes, or at golf. This time it was an attempt to more than cheat, but to steal a presidential election.

Will someone go to jail for attempting to overturn an election by falsifying the Electoral College vote count? Attorney-General Garland, are you listening?

Every state has a number of Electoral College votes determined by the size of its population. A highly populated state, California has 55 Electoral College votes. Though a large landmass, Alaska has only 3 Electoral College votes.

A candidate needs 270 Electoral College votes to win the White House. When a candidate wins the majority of the popular vote in one state, that candidate will win all of that state's Electoral College votes.

Texas has the next most Electoral College votes with 38. Win the popular vote of both California and Texas, and it will add up to 93 Electoral votes. Throw in a popular vote win of New York, which has 29 Electoral College votes, and you are almost halfway to the White House with 122. Remember, the magic number to win the White House is 270.

There are 47 more states.

Each member of the Electoral College is legally elected and certified.

Trump’s scheme? He had pals or wanna-be pals pretended to be members of the Electoral College for their state.

Ho, ho, ho!

These pals signed their names to fake Electoral College certificates, claiming Trump had won the states of Michigan, Arizona, Pennsylvania, Georgia, Wisconsin, Nevada and New Mexico,

Trump’s thinking: “Let’s grab the election by the pussy.”

Lady Liberty said, “No way!”

Ho, ho, ho!

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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