CHICAGO – (Satire News) – One of the nation’s leading DNA experts has just learned an amazing thing about Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump and Ann Hartlette Coulter.
According to noted Dr. Bartles Jameson, the predatorial pervert and the human swizzle stick are actually biological brother and sister.
Dr. Jameson, who was once engaged to Sen. Lindsay Graham (yes it was a same gender thing), learned of the weird-as-shit brother/sister relationship after conducting an extensive DNA test and following up with 2 lesser extensive follow-up DNA tests
When the Trumptard was asked to comment about his brand new sister, he replied that he would rather have Nancy Pelosi for a sister than the skinny-legged, horse-face-looking skanky bitch Angelina Coulter.
When the skanky bitch (Ann Coulter) was asked to comment about her brand new brother, she replied that she would rather have a fucking Taliban terrorist for a brother than the orange-complected, pussy grabbing, racist, tax-evading, draft dodger (Donald Trump).
Meanwhile Anderson Cooper remarked that he always thought that there was a striking resemblance between the two white shitheads.
