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Funny satire stories about DNA

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Funny story: Elon Musk To Claim He’s Direct Descendant Of Jesus

Elon Musk To Claim He’s Direct Descendant Of Jesus

Billionaire whiz kid and social media czar Elon Musk will reportedly issue a statement where he claims to be a direct descendant of Jesus Christ. The assertion by the prominent technocrat is said to be based on an advanced genealogical mapping softwa…

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Funny story: Marjorie Taylor Greene's DNA Found On Two Of Donald Trump's Wisdom Teeth

Marjorie Taylor Greene's DNA Found On Two Of Donald Trump's Wisdom Teeth

ANDOVER, Maryland - (Satire News) - In a report that is sure to shock Mrs. Donald Trump, iRumors is reporting that an Andover dentist has stated that he actually found some of Cong. Marjorie Taylor Greene's DNA on Donald Jonathan Trump's wisdom teeth…

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Funny story: A DNA Expert Reveals An Astounding Revelation About Donald Trump and Ann Coulter – They’re Brother and Sister!

A DNA Expert Reveals An Astounding Revelation About Donald Trump and Ann Coulter – They’re Brother and Sister!

CHICAGO – (Satire News) – One of the nation’s leading DNA experts has just learned an amazing thing about Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump and Ann Hartlette Coulter. According to noted Dr. Bartles Jameson, the predatorial pervert and the human swizzl…

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Funny story: DNA Test Results Show That Donald J. Trump Has Four Biological Sons He Did Not Know He Had

DNA Test Results Show That Donald J. Trump Has Four Biological Sons He Did Not Know He Had

NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Daily Drama reporter Cinderella St. Lamb, has just broken the Trump story of the season! The highly-reputable DNA collecting firm, which is based in Kalamazoo, Michigan, Yep Dat Be Your Squigglies Alright, has confi…

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Funny story: DNA Tests Show That a Baltimore Bus Driver is Barron Trump’s Biological Father

DNA Tests Show That a Baltimore Bus Driver is Barron Trump’s Biological Father

BALTIMORE – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz has just uncovered a story that had been hidden from the entire country by the Trump family for 15 years. BuzzFuzz reporter Taffeta Kixx said that after following several leads, she has discovered that Donald J…

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Funny story: DNA Test Results Show That Matt Gaetz Is Most Probably Not The Illegitimate Son of Jeffrey Epstein

DNA Test Results Show That Matt Gaetz Is Most Probably Not The Illegitimate Son of Jeffrey Epstein

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz has just revealed that they have seen the recent DNA test results regarding Congressman Matt Gaetz, and they show that he is most probably not the illegitimate son of noted sexual predator Jeffrey Epstein.

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Funny story: QAnon's Marjorie Taylor Greene is Hated as Much as Ann Coulter, Donald Trump, and Mustafa Haliboo Combined

QAnon's Marjorie Taylor Greene is Hated as Much as Ann Coulter, Donald Trump, and Mustafa Haliboo Combined

DICKWEED, Mississippi – (Satire News) – Marjorie Taylor Greene self-proclaimed darling of the QAnon movement and human tampon, has just become even more hated than Ann Coulter, Donald Trump, and Al Qaeda leader Mustafa Haliboo. The sewer water blo…

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Funny story: President Trump's DNA Found In Kenya

President Trump's DNA Found In Kenya

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In what genealogy experts are calling the most baffling discovery in over 45 years of genealogical research, President Donald J. Trump’s DNA has been found in Kenya. The Washington Globe-Express reported that the amazing thing i…

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Funny story: Texas Warns That The Dreaded Chupacabra Could Be Carrying The Coronavirus

Texas Warns That The Dreaded Chupacabra Could Be Carrying The Coronavirus

AUSTIN – The Guild of Lone Star State Veterinarians has issued an emergency directive regarding the legendary folkloric creature known as La Chupacabra. The name Chupacabra literally means 'goat sucker', and the animal was first spotted in Texas i...

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Funny story: Ivanka Trump Walks Off Stephen Colbert's Late Night Talk Show

Ivanka Trump Walks Off Stephen Colbert's Late Night Talk Show

NEW YORK CITY – The nation’s first daughter, Ivanka Trump, appeared with Stephen Colbert on his late night talk show. She was introduced as President Trump’s oldest and most favorite daughter. Amazingly enough, out of the 200 audience members, onl...

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Funny story: Low-Budget Ancestry Analysis Links Ryan Adams and Bryan Adams as Half-Brothers

Low-Budget Ancestry Analysis Links Ryan Adams and Bryan Adams as Half-Brothers

Thanks to the miracles of modern-day ancestry analysis through specialty service www.BudgetBloodlines.web, musicians Bryan Adams of Canada, and Ryan Adams of the United States, were informed that they are half-brothers, related through their common f...

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Funny story: Girl Had Six Toes

Girl Had Six Toes

A teacher in a school in Bangkok had the fright of his life recently when, listening intently to what a girl standing by the side of his desk was saying, and looking downward so as to focus his concentration on her words, he became aware that she had...

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Funny story: Evangelicals Seize Moral High Ground by Rejecting Candidates who Overestimate DNA or Trespass in College

Evangelicals Seize Moral High Ground by Rejecting Candidates who Overestimate DNA or Trespass in College

Washington - Several months ago, members of the Evangelical Right movement pounced on Senator Elizabeth Warren for claiming Native American ancestry based on family stories rather than DNA testing, which was not available decades ago at the time of...

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Funny story: Scientists: Human ancestors and a guy named Dennis "mate with anything vaguely human"

Scientists: Human ancestors and a guy named Dennis "mate with anything vaguely human"

In the past ten years, a successful attempt to sequence the genome of Neanderthals revealed that most modern humans carry 2-4% Neanderthal DNA, indicating our human ancestors bred with their ancient cousins. Further scientific research into a fin...

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Funny story: Pocahontas: "I AM so, too, Native American; my mixed DNA sample proves it, so there!"

Pocahontas: "I AM so, too, Native American; my mixed DNA sample proves it, so there!"

Senator Eliza Beth “Pocahontas” Warpath swabbed one of her body cavities to obtain a DNA “smear,” which she submitted to a clandestine cloning service, the name of which she refused to identify. The results of the analysis of the DNA sample, she s...

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Funny story: 86 ft sea monster found on Brit beach has same DNA as Boris Johnson!

86 ft sea monster found on Brit beach has same DNA as Boris Johnson!

Scientists analysing huge, ancient bones, found on a Brit beach, have discovered something quite amazing! It seems the DNA in the bones, that belonged to a huge Jurassic sea monster, has the same DNA as the present UK foreign minister, BOJO! "Ther...

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Funny story: Feathered, flying dinosaur is genetically related to Theresa May!

Feathered, flying dinosaur is genetically related to Theresa May!

Chinese scientists researching a dinosaur egg have made an amazing discovery! Its DNA is the same as Theresa May's! The egg seems to be that of a feathered, flying dinosaur, that hovered, attacked and ruled over the planet millions of years ago. B...

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