Washington - Several months ago, members of the Evangelical Right movement pounced on Senator Elizabeth Warren for claiming Native American ancestry based on family stories rather than DNA testing, which was not available decades ago at the time of...
In the past ten years, a successful attempt to sequence the genome of Neanderthals revealed that most modern humans carry 2-4% Neanderthal DNA, indicating our human ancestors bred with their ancient cousins. Further scientific research into a fin...
Senator Eliza Beth “Pocahontas” Warpath swabbed one of her body cavities to obtain a DNA “smear,” which she submitted to a clandestine cloning service, the name of which she refused to identify. The results of the analysis of the DNA sample, she s...
Scientists analysing huge, ancient bones, found on a Brit beach, have discovered something quite amazing! It seems the DNA in the bones, that belonged to a huge Jurassic sea monster, has the same DNA as the present UK foreign minister, BOJO! "Ther...
Chinese scientists researching a dinosaur egg have made an amazing discovery! Its DNA is the same as Theresa May's! The egg seems to be that of a feathered, flying dinosaur, that hovered, attacked and ruled over the planet millions of years ago. B...
The following is a partial reprint of a handbill given to me one Sunday morning as I stumbled to my pickup after a wild night partying in Athens, Ga, home of the University of Georgia. At issue was the recent DNA extracted from a 37,000 year old hum...
A very confused group of experts have been onto this for a month and still have no solution. "We have an Egyptian mummy, we think, brought here as usual to test the DNA so it could be dated and so we did", stated a DNA Expert in Tucson, Arizona. "...
A Canadian dentist has plans to clone the late Beatle, John Lennon after purchasing his tooth a couple of years ago for over $30,000. This was revealed recently during an episode of Dead Famous DNA on Channel 4 in England. Canadian dentist Dr.
Recent scientific research proves that personalities, temperaments, and world views are innate. These are simply human genetic imprints. Now, world famous mind researcher, Adler Freud-Jung, M.D., Ph.D, I.W.W. and his associates have conducted e...
Apparently China has been giving children plenty of sweets over the years to get them to work for very low wages and not to get bored. China denies the fact that thousands of those former children are now working long hours and have been for many...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a news conference earlier this week, Dr. Spencer Wells, the National Geographic Explorer-in-Residence, announced more surprising results from the Genoproject's Multiyear research. According to Wells, by using their "cutting-e...
Although they are being billed with such names as "Cat Head", "Trout Ears" and "The Man With The Octopus Arms", American scientists who have watched the Chinese Circus in Europe say that these freaks are not by nature but by DNA experiments. "They...
Police in Las Vegas, Nevada are now searching for a "freak" identified by a prostitute after two other prostitutes have been missing for weeks. This lady is in pretty bad shape but has told police a great deal about her attacker. "It was a male...
Los Angeles - Researchers at LA's Seedy Sign Eye Hospital & Institute of Medicalology have announced the discovery of a link between incest-related sexually transmitted diseases and the rogue genetic makeup of socialists from Karl Marx to Ecuador...
Scientists in the High Plains of America have discovered that the human family tree has many more branches and tangles than previously thought. DNA analysis from a group of humans heavier than Robustus, stouter than Australopithecus,-- and with more...
DOVER, Delaware - Law enforcement officials in Dover have confirmed that a drone that crashed on Bradford Frissyfrock's Farm did in fact originate from outside the United States. Officer Ty Bolero, 43, with the Dover Police Department stated that...
Urgent appeals for a very big fly swatter have been made by the LHC team in Switzerland afer a particle from an accelerator collided with a stray fly. The 10 metre wingspan fly soared out of the collision chamber and ate the operator's Coronation...
LOVELOCK, Nevada - The most famous inmate at Lovelock Correctional Center, O.J. Simpson, has just dropped quite a bombshell. Speaking with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk in an isolated area of the prison facility the former NFL great mad...
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