NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The wife of El Chapo, Emma Coronel Aispuro, is positively thrilled at hearing that the judge has just agreed to reduce her 17-year sentence to just 5 minutes.
The former beauty queen wanted to thank her “Dream Team” of 16 lawyers, including lead attorneys Gloria and Ginger Allred for doing such a fantastic job of defending her.
Mrs. El Chapo, as she loves to be called, had been falsely accused of illegally donating $42 million to President Biden's 2020 campaign, conspiring to neuter police dogs, and spreading rumors about America’s most hated person, “El Hombre Pendejo” (The Stupid Man) aka Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump.
Allred said that in all of her many, many years of defending the innocent she had never had a more innocent, sweeter, kinder, caring, and extremely gorgeous client as Emma.
Emma is noted as being the ONLY beauty pageant contestant anywhere in the world to ever win state titles in five different states.
[EDITORS'S NOTE: The 32-year-old beauty queen was crowned Miss Sinaloa in 2009, Miss Yucatan in 2010, Miss Tabasco in 2011, Miss Quintana Roo in 2012, and Miss Texas in 2013.]
