WOODCHUCK HORMONES, Kentucky – (Satire News) – The Chicago Daily Wind is reporting that Tiddly Lee Fogstuffer, 57, and her husband of 29 years, Triscuit “Bubba” Fogstuffer, 52, got so drunk the other night that they went next door and shot up their neighbor’s hummingbird feeder.
Tiddly Lee was asked by the Woodchuck Hormones Police Department what possessed them to do such a dumb, stupid, shit-ass thing.
She scratched her nose, burped, and grabbed at her crotch, and whispered under her breath, "I dunno."
Meanwhile her hubby, Triscuit, who loves Trump so much he had a tattoo of “The Pied Piper of The Potomac” inked on his tongue, replied that truth be told, he and his sweet Tiddly Lee were actually attacked by a swarm of 21 or so adult, out-of-control hummingbirds.
Tiddly Lee, took a drink from her can of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer, and said that her and “Bubba” were just merely defending themselves from these heathen birds.
Well the judge didn’t buy it and so Tiddly Lee and Triscuit Fogstuffer were both remanded to jail, where they sit with a $400,000 bail each.