CINCINNATI – (Satire News) – In what many pundits are calling a huge mystery, reports coming out a sexual study conducted by a Cincinnati fact-finding firm, say that older couples are having more and more sex.
The Scuttlebutt Review’s April Jiggle, noted that she personally interviewed well over 90 elderly couples (between the ages of 76 and 98), and she found that a high percentage (83%) are actually engaging in more sex than couples who are between the ages of 25 to 45.
Miss Jiggle has since learned that scientists have discovered that there is a chemical in prunes, that when taken with diet water causes the male and female libido to shoot through the roof.
And as a result grampa suddenly finds himself chasing grandma, in her sexy granny panties, all over the bedroom, the hallway, and the kitchen.
In the meantime, Saturnica Pharmaceuticals has just put out a new anti-sexual inhibitor pill that will cause an elderly citizen’s sexual urges, needs, and desires to increase by as much as 615%.
