HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Silver Screen Showcase Magazine has just learned from an unnamed source that production will soon begin on the latest saga of the extremely popular film franchise, “The Vampire Diaries.”
SSSM senior reporter Pomona Vox, broke the story, and actually contacted Ms. Johansson.
She interviewed the very popular star at an isolated location at the La Brea Tar Pits.
Johansson, who many consider to be the best actress in Tinsel Town, stated that as soon as she was offered the role, she jumped on it and said yes without even asking how much she will get paid.
[PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Miss Johansson will be paid $12.7 million].
Scarlett commented that she will portray the newly elected, extremely sexy mayor of Mystic Falls, Stephanie Dewmist.
The script calls for Johansson to do 90% percent of her own stunts, which call for her to fall off a galloping horse, tackle an enraged mama kangaroo, and fight off a group of 3 drug-addicted teens using only her hands, her feet, and a Lowe's crowbar.
Meanwhile Nina, Ian, and Paul have said that they can hardly wait to work with an actress who is truly a living legend.
SIDENOTE: Information guru Andy Cohen informed Pomona Vox, that Scarlett’s husband, "Saturday Night Live's" Colin Jost, will have a cameo in the film, in which he will portray, Babylon, a sadistic vampire who sucks the blood out of unsuspecting white extremists.