SHEBOYGAN, Wisconsin – The local authorities are reporting that a local farmer sustained an injury while he was drinking milk. Sheboygan police officer, Wendell Braggberry, (Badge #3017) said that he took a statement from Silas P. Coogins, who own...
The University of Wisconsin football program has been formally sued by the band House of Pain for using their song 'Jump Around', without properly obtaining permission or paying royalties. "We heard a story after the Ohio State game, that the Wisc...
After analyzing the results of numerous surveys that were conducted throughout several counties in Wisconsin, top university officials within the UW System concluded Monday that volunteering for community service projects is still an excellent way fo...
Platteville, Wisconsin. 39-year-old Craig Harvell threw a massive and profoundly psychotic fit on Friday, April 5th at 11:45 pm when he drunkenly saw a random website that had the Hoia-Baciu Forest in Romania ranked "second" on the list of the Wor...
International News Reporters rushed to the State of Wisconsin when they received a disturbing report that the intricately-designed Universe (with all of its magnificent wonders as well as its originally-beautiful design) is somehow broken, twisted, a...
Yes, it is true. Shameful but true. It is always difficult for the children of those involved in criminal activities to confront their past and the social stigmas associated with such behavior, but at some time it must be faced. My mother was a Margarine Smuggler. (My hand shakes still as I type this.) In the Wisconsin of the mid 20th century it was illegal to sell margarine. At all. Pe...
A new "Stand Your Election Ground" law authorizes polling place observers in Wisconsin to use deadly force if they feel there is a threat of voter fraud. Republican Governor Scott Walker signed the law today. It allows "well-meaning, heavily-armed...
MILWAUKEE - The state of Wisconsin regrets to have to announce that it will be closing down three cheese factories within the next four weeks. The cheese factories are located in Milwaukee, Green Bay, and Oshkosh. A representative for the state...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has just found out from a very reliable source that most illegal aliens are members of the Illegal Immigrants Union or IIU. The information came from a source who spoke on grounds of anonym...
MILWAUKEE - Vareena May Pottpiffle, executive director for The Blue Haired Republican Women of Wisconsin has sent Sarah Palin a very strongly worded text message. Mrs. Pottpiffle told the woman known as "Snowflake" Palin to not even think about ru...
MADISON, Wisconsin - State authorities are reporting that the due to the extreme cold weather that the state has been experiencing there has been a rise in crime. A spokesman in the governor's office has stated that some Wisconsin low-lifes are go...
MADISON, Wisconsin - A spokesperson for the governor's office has stated that he wants to thank all of the concerned citizens who have brought the practice of duplicate and triplicate signs to the state's attention. Gideon Hookerfaust, 48, speakin...
Many wonder how it is that a little, forgotten town on the frozen banks of Lake Michigan could become the official first city of football. Most major league football towns are huge mothers like Los Angeles, Chicago, Denver, Atlanta, but the one tiny dollop on the sports map is Green Bay. How so? Let me tell you the story: Once upon a time someone for some strange, mysterious reason a sport was...
MILWAUKEE - Local gynecologist Dr. Wilmer Wigglemeister has practiced in Milwaukee for the past 19 years. But lately he had noticed a drop in the number of patients he was seeing. He talked to fellow local gynecologists and learned that their b...
MILWAUKEE - A Wisconsin gynecologist named Dr. Ashburn B. Bixbocker has found a novel way to increase his sagging number of patients. The Milwaukee doctor consulted a consulting firm and he was told to install a slot machine in his waiting room.
MADISON, Wisconsin - The state known as The Cheese State has just announced that it has just acted on a petition that has been signed by tens of thousands of Wisconsinites. State Senator Bindy Gladys Fogmund, [R-Milwaukee] noted that a vast majori...
Anyone who has spent any time in Colorado or any western ski resort areas has noticed the high density of Wisconsiners living there (to avoid any violent misunderstandings and to remain socially correct, by 'high density' I am referring to the percentage of population, not the thickness of their skulls). There is a disproportionally large population of them coming from a state with only five milli...
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