LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – Reports filtering out of the Left Coast are saying that the highly reputable publication, LaLaLand Daily has just named Donald Jonathan Trump 2021’s “Ugliest Woman in America.”
Senior reporter Macadamia Honeysuckle said that the Trumptardette beat out such uglies as Marjorie Taylor Greene, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Ann Coulter, and Karen Racistavelli, who has the biggest unibrow in the nation (male or female).
When asked for a comment (Donna’s wife) Melania replied, “Sheet, ju chood sees La Donaldo wiffout hees make-up; eats Vomit City.”
Trump’s son, Eric “The Space Cadet” Trump commented that the title should actually go to retired Detroit prostitute Martha “Lips of Love” Crackenfuk, 59, who for some messed up reason has a tattoo of the state of Michigan on the right side of her face.
SIDENOTE: When Donald Jonathan was asked to comment he replied, “Hell, I'm actually kinda pretty. Have you seen those two colored sistas, Diamond and Silk? Shit, they’re both uglier than the bottom of Lake Michigan.”