BALTIMORE – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz has just uncovered a story that had been hidden from the entire country by the Trump family for 15 years.
BuzzFuzz reporter Taffeta Kixx said that after following several leads, she has discovered that Donald Jonathan Trump is not the biological father of his youngest son Barron Trump.
Miss Kixx, using what she called a various array of sources and references, has found that Barron’s biological father is actually Woodley P. Plixette, who is employed as a Baltimore city bus driver.
Miss Kixx stated that DNA test results show that the chances that Mr. Plixette is actually Barron’s daddy are an astounding 99.03%.
When Donald Jonathan Trump was told about the results he huffed and puffed, and took three quick bites out of his Big Mac, before saying in his usual lying Trumpian manner, “The results are fake, they’re not real, they’re a hoax, and this is all just a damn witch hunt being carried out by Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Shumer, Jeff Sessions, Loretta Lynn, and Queen Elizabeth.”
Meanwhile, Melania Trump when asked to comment, simply commented, “I has to sez dat I dunt has a cumment about Plixy.” ■