TIJUANA, Mexico – (Satire News) – iRumors reported that the twice-impeached, one-term, disgraced former president "Don The Con," secretly traveled to Mexico to get a genitaliana physical.
The results showed that, as many had suspected, including Melania, VP Harris, and Queen Elizabeth, the Trumptard is afflicted with a serious egotistical condition known as Grandeuritis Fukatosis.
Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors commented that Trump was in Tijuana, Mexico to participate in Tijuana’s yearly Salma Hayek Invitational Golf Tournament and Burrito-Bob.
She noted that if it’s two things that Trump loves, other than Maria Bartiromo and Marjorie Taylor Greene, it’s golf and comida (food).
Miss Vermicelli, reported that Trump came in 37th out of a field of 39.
She noted that the predatorial grandfather, tried to cheat on each one of the first 13 holes.
Finally, golf tournament officials warned him that if he fucking tried to cheat again they would (1) Pepper spray him, (2) Take away his comb, and (3) Kick him in his ass so hard, he’d have to cough to take his wallet out of his back pocket.
SIDENOTE: Melania did not accompany her low-life husband to Mexico, on account of she was in Los Angeles visiting her texting-buddy, LeBron James.