CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The US Federation of Psychiatrists has just issued a report stating that Donald Jonathan Trump has absolutely no respect whatsoever for females; including those who are dyed-in-the-wool Republicans.
Alpha Beta News Agency reporter Mimosa Sabrosa, stated that she spoke with several of the nation’s leading psychiatrists, and they state emphatically that Trump’s hatred of women probably stems from the fact that some woman in his past; maybe his mom, an aunt, or a nanny may have kicked the shit out of him for being such a fucking, spoiled-rotten brat.
In fact, Trump’s first wife, Ivanna wrote in her tell-all-book that the orange piece-of-shit even went as far as to refuse to pay some of his maids; telling them to hire a lawyer and sue him.
Even his two goofy sons, Don Jr., and Eric, who enjoy shooting animals that one would find on a farm, have stated that their daddy uses women like women use tampons, tossing them away after a few hours.
Meanwhile, Trump’s former attorney (fixer) Michael Cohen says that his testimony against his former boss, just regarding his non-payment of taxes, will most probably land the little-fingered creep in Sing Sing Prison for at least 29 years. ■
