Mitch McConnell is Suing The Makers of a Viagra-Like Pill, Up Up & Away!

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 9 September 2021

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image for Mitch McConnell is Suing The Makers of a Viagra-Like Pill, Up Up & Away!
"Turtle Face" McConnell's wife says that he now has the pee-pee of a baby turtle.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Alpha Beta News Agency has just confirmed that Senator Mitch “Turtle Face” McConnell has just filed a lawsuit against the makers of the penis hardening, Viagra-like pill, Up, Up, and Away.

The lawsuit claims that the product, which guarantees a woody within 8 minutes of taking the royal blue pill simply did not work.

McConnell is alleging that he and his wife Ling Ling, waited for 2 hours and 35 minutes after taking the pill and his noodle was still as soft and as limp as, well a wet noodle.

Ling Ling reportedly became extremely frustrated and had to actually resort to the old-fashion fingeroni method of self-gratification.

Meanwhile, Mitch “The Moscow Bitch” has filed a $45,000 lawsuit claiming among other things, Noerectionitis, Limp Dickatosis, and Erectile Nada.

SIDENOTE: Donald Trump, alias, “The Pussy Grabber,” has suggested that Mitch put some Miracle Grow on his peckerino.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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