NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Bedroom Pillow Talk reporter Carolina Chipotle recently sat down and interviewed Anderson Cooper.
She noted that he has the most beautiful eyes of anyone she has ever seen, man or woman.
Miss Chipotle, also noted that he is extremely white, pointing out that he is even whiter than the extremely white Nicole Kidman.
Carolina, who has recently been linked to a well-known NFL football player, asked about his new son.
Cooper beamed with fatherly pride as he commented that the baby looks exactly like him, and nothing like his mom; except for the fact that he has a very dainty burp.
The BPT reporter then asked him if it was true that if he was not gay that there is a certain, well-known female that he would love to boink.
Coop turned three shades of pink and began giggling like a 2nd grade schoolgirl.
He regained his composure and replied that yes, there is one, and only one woman who he definitely has the hots for.
When asked to reveal her name; Anderson simply said that her initials are S.J.
When pressed to reveal her full name, Coop apologized, but added that he did not want to embarrass her.
SIDENOTE: Miss Chipotle texted information guru, Andy Cohen who told her that Anderson Cooper’s fantasy boink is none other than the extremely sexy Scarlett Johansson.