MANHATTAN – (Satire News) – The highly reputable brokerage firm of Swisston, Wellywood, & Cuevas has made it abundantly clear to all male employees that they will no longer tolerate male employees who think that it’s okay to look up their fellow female employees skirts or dresses.
A lawyer for the firm has advised all male employees that habitual ‘beaver shooters’ will be disciplined by receiving a 3-day suspension for the first upskirt infraction, and a 5-day suspension, plus a fine of $75 for a second.
One female clerk in accounts receivable says that her next desk fellow employee spends way too much time looking up her skirt, when he should be doing his work.
She has reported him, no less than 17 times, and she is now sick and tired of it and she has threatened to urinate all over his head if he continues to shoot her muffin, or va-jay-jay, as they call the female genitalia in Indiana.
In Other News. iRumors is reporting that Matt Gaetz told Mitch McConnell that his girlfriend Marjorie Taylor Greene has cellulite on her tongue.
