Austin’s All-Nude Thirsty Beaver Night Club Has Been Named #1 in the Nation

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 19 August 2021

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Two of the Thirsty Beavers' top pole dancers are Jenny Normandy, 24, (L) and Dakota Rizzmic, 26, (R).

AUSTIN – (Satire News) – The Las Vegas Roulette-Gazette newspaper has just named their annual “Number One Lounge in The Nation.”

And this year’s winner is the Thirsty Beaver Night Club which is in the Austin suburb of Pflugerville.

The club’s owner, Britt Farksencola, 32, said that she is truly honored and pointed out that all of their pole dancers are the sexiest, hottest, most gorgeous women anywhere in the entire country.

She stressed that all her pole dancers are “10s” and most are actually “11s” and “12s.”

Miss Farsencola, who ten years ago was crowned Miss Amarillo, said that several of her featured dancers are actually ex-professional cheerleaders.

She commented that two were members of the Dallas Cowboys cheerleading squad and one was a member of the Houston Texans cheerleading group.

Britt winked as she added that one of her girls, Juliana Kartapelli, 27, was one of the most sought-after call girls in Las Vegas.

In Vice-Presidential News. VP Kamala Harris says that Anderson Cooper told her that she makes the former vice-president Mike “Plain Vanilla” Pence seem like a little listless gerbil.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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