CHITLINS CREEK, Alabama – (Satire News) – Several residents of Chitlins Creek, reported seeing a red, yellow, and white space ship land in Farmer Filbern Fairquill’s cotton field.
The Bucknox twins, Foley and Fryus, 27, said they were out stealing cotton balls when they heard this loud hissing sound. As they looked up they noticed a weird-looking object hovering right above them.
Fryus took his shotgun and emptied both barrels into the object but it didn’t even make a dent.
Foley quickly tossed his Pabst Blue Ribbon beer bottle on the ground and said that he had never, ever been this drunk before.
A few minutes later their cousins Herbie Fittfellow and Nolan Petsinger arrived in their ’68 Ford pickup and they drove right up to where the space object had landed.
At that point all four began to strip parts off of the flying saucer, including pipes, metal ornaments, steel filaments, and what looked like a license plate.
Suddenly the door opened, but it immediately shut when the inhabitants saw the four grizzled, local yocals vandalizing the UFO.
The space object fired up and lifted up. It circled around and suddenly it dropped about seven gallons of fire engine red dye on the four men.
Fryus tasted it, and he said it tasted like three-week-old expired asparagus. He then took some cotton balls and wiped his mouth.
In Other News. The iRumors News Agency is reporting that turn-coat, traitor, scum-sucking Democrat Senator Joe “Dickface” Manchin has received over 19,000 hate-filled phone calls, tweets, emails, and even two singing telegrams, saying that they hope he gets bit by a pack of rabid woodchucks