LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – Britney Spears told Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors that it seems like her conservatorship case has been dragging on since El Poopooluna volcano erupted 13 miles south of Tijuana, Mexico several years ago.
She noted that it has given her even more stress than Trump’s four years in office did.
Brit pointed out that the latest effect all this mess is having on her is that she no longer has any desire to have kinky sex, or even normal, vanillaesque everyday ‘Evangelical Sex,” for that matter.
She said that with her, she just needs a lot more foreplay, than having the man simply tell her that she’s got a fine-looking ass.
Spears said that her father James, whom she refers to as “The Nazi Nut,” has now asked the judge to insist that Britney get permission from him in order to pee.
Britney said that she has just been told that the fans who started the #Let Britney Decide For Britney What Britney Wants To Do,” now say that the petitions have 32.4 million signatures.
Some of the more well known Britney backers include VP Kamala Harris, NFL great Tom Brady, billionaire Kylie Kardashian, Willie Nelson, and Clemson P. Pixweather, owner of The Vampire Sux Bar & Grill in Houston.
In The Meantime, Britney says that she is getting lots of wonderful encouragement from Dr. Jill Biden, Jose Altuve of the Houston Astros, and all five members of The Sopapilla Muchachas Band.