LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – Britney Spears told Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors that it seems like her conservatorship case has been dragging on since El Poopooluna volcano erupted 13 miles south of Tijuana, Mexico several years ago. She noted tha…
As the Olympic track and field trials near an end here at Autzen Stadium, hopeful contestants in the peeing for distance competition were forced to take shelter in a cooling area as temperatures reached 110 degrees on the field. It is unlikely that t…
Urination vehicles have not been seen in Manchester since the 1950s. In those days it was the rarity of toilets that meant many locals were happy to literally "spend a penny" to take a pee in one. Yet now, with coronavirus ravaging parts of the No…
Cleaners were called to the scene of an incident earlier this morning, after a man who was desperate to empty his bladder, urinated all over a toilet seat, and also left a puddle of piss on the floor. The man, who cannot be named because of possib...
The most recent urinalysis of 19-year-old Department of Public Works groundskeeper Ian Farrell, who, like all city employees, is required to submit to regular drug testing, revealed remarkably high levels of green tea, with levels of polyphenols and...
Chinese top business managers have involved scientists in the quest to extract even more energy from their billions of workers because the Chinese economy is lurching downwards rapidly! To put a 'sting' in the tail of the work force, scientists ha...
San Francisco, CA - Tubby Bozo, president and CEO of The Bozo Group, an apartment developer in California, announced to a group of reporters at his mansion today the end of homelessness. As previously reported at this link , apartments are expensi...
Little Rocks, Arkansas - Joggers along the Arkansas River Trail have called our news room after many observed Hillary crawling on the trail, stopping frequently to urinate. "It was totally disgusting", reported Mr. Edophilepay, when he phoned in...
MAPLE LEAF, CANUCKA - Among the most unhygienic people in the world, Canucks think nothing of using public swimming pools as their personal urinals. A recent study of two pools of different sizes indicated that a 220,000-gallon pool contained...
Gwinnett County - Georgia - According to Sheriff's Deputy Luis Tinksay, a Democratic (sic) National Committee bus unloaded mass quantities of human waste, including poop, piddle, toilette paper, Depends, syringes, condoms, empty dopamine bottles, an...
Mayor Bill de Blasio and NYPD announced that consumption of alcohol, urinating in public or littering will henceforth be considered as minor offenses. People will no longer be shackled at their ankles or handcuffed to a fire hydrant. The only gro...
Around 20 celebrities, including actress Jennifer Lawrence, had images of themselves taking leaks posted on image posting website 4Chan. Mary Elizabeth Winstead (whoever she is) said the images of her were old - and were snapped when she was taki...
Miley Cyrus needed a break so her dad, Billy Ray decided to go home to northern Kentucky and go on a three-day fishing and camping trip. Of course, they did allow me, a reporter for $tat$, to go with them and use the photographs for a Family Type article. After the first day, they didn't catch a thing and, although Billy took it in stride, Miley seemed upset. "Look at that guy, Pops. Hey,...
Boss of Irish budget airline Cryinair, Mick O'Weary, was hiding from the Press last night after a routine Customs check on one of its planes returned shocking findings. Occasionally we check the fuel on all commercial aircraft,' explained HMRC spo...
HOLLYWOOD - Justin Bieber has stated that he is tired of getting blamed for things that his friends do. He told Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors that he is really trying to grow up and act responsible. The 19-year-old pointed out that he is not a...
God was seen cocking His leg up alongside another lamp-post in a Gateshead housing estate. This is the sixth time this week that witnesses have seen God urinating against lamp-posts. Voices upon high tell us that God has nothing against lamp-p...
Isle of Dogs - "Strong drink may have played a part in it," Barking resident Arthur Troglodyte admitted today as footage of him weeing through his own, Acacia Avenue front door was posted on the YouBoob! channel. The London K9 postcode estate agen...
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