BAYOU FUFU, Louisiana – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News, has just reported that the notorious drug lord Joaquin Archivaldo Guzman Loera, better Known as “El Chapo” was reportedly seen in line at a drive-thru window at a McDonald’s in Bayou Fufu, Louisiana.
The extremely successful "Businessman," as he refers to himself, recently escaped from New York’s Sing Sing Prison by disguising himself to look like the prison warden.
Local authorities approached him, but he saw them and immediately took off before getting his Big Mac, his Chicken McNuggets, and his McShrimp Tacos.
Sheriff Jean Claude DuBois-DuMoo of Grey Poupon Parrish, said that he could not catch up to the drug lord due to the fact that he was in a stolen, late model Lamborghini Murcielago and was traveling at speeds in excess of 185 mph.
Sheriff DuBois-DuMoo alerted the Texas Rangers and the Border Patrol and informed them that he was heading towards Texas, where it is believed he will eventually cross into Mexico at Nuevo Laredo, Mexico.
It has been said by dozens of high-ranking law enforcement officers that “El Chapo” is known as the Latin American Houdini.
Many U.S. police chiefs truly believe that he could escape from any prison in the world, including Afghanistan’s Infamous, so-called-inescapable, Bahahabadaboo Military Prison, located in Camel Lips, Afghanistan.
Bahaha, as the locals call it, has a 42-foot tall fence that has the sharpest barbed wire known to man and it also has an electric current of 200 million volts running through it.
Meanwhile, actor Sean Penn has said that he would like for “El Chapo” to contact him about hiring him as a consultant on a proposed movie titled, “El Chapo – Handcuffs – Ha! I Can Bite Those Toys Off.”