CORN KERNEL, Iowa – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News has just learned that 375 pounds of debris from a Peruvian Herculean rocket is expected to land somewhere in Iowa in mid July.
BBN’s Hacienda Fiddle said she spoke with Elroy Figalooni, a spokesperson for Governor Kim Richards of The Corn Shuck State.
The spokesperson noted that Figalooni did not appear to be too concerned about the South American debris.
When asked why he could not care less, Figalooni shrugged his shoulders, took a bite out of his corn on the cob, and said, “Well ta be honest wittcha, Iowa is made up of about 87% cornfields, so the odds of the Peruvian trash hittin’ something important are about 18 billion to 1."
Figalooni then pointed out that he is more concerned with the upcoming cicada invasion that certified meteorologists and the state's leading divorce lawyer, say could possibly affect the weather, the job market, and women’s sexual libido.
In Non-Related News. Former White House communications director/chief adviser [wink-wink] Hope Hicks, confided to Anderson Cooper that DJT texts her at least 16 times a day.
