HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – The producers of the new Touch Rock Films motion picture have been informed by its star that she will not be appearing nude in the movie’s opening scene, which takes place in an old abandoned termite-infested saw mill.
Nina Dobrev, who will star in "The Psychotic Venomous Vampires of Valdosta," told the show’s executives that at the age of 32, she feels that she no longer has to do nude scenes in order to get movie roles and perky perks.
The actress recently spoke with LaLaLand Daily reporter Macadamia Honeysuckle, and she stressed that she is now at the point in her life where she wants to be known for her gorgeous high cheek bones, her stunning long flowing hair, her dark deep penetrating eyes, and for her lusciously suckable lips.
Honeysuckle asked her if she and Ian Somerhalder are still an item.
Dobrev blushed and turned as pink as a Florida flamingo and replied that she and Ian have always been super close and they actually have matching tattoos of a vampire fang located on their bikini lines.
The movie will be filmed in black and white at The Cotton Balls Ranch, located just outside of Valdosta, Georgia.
In a Non-Related Story. Sporting Chance Magazine is reporting that thousands of inmates in prisons throughout America are already starting to refer to Trump as “Donna.”