AUSTIN – (Satire News) – Multi-billionaire Elon Musk recently told Oprah Winfrey that he’s not conceited, he’s just cock-sure.
The man who could single-handedly feed half-a-dozen third world countries with money from his miscellaneous fund stated in no uncertain terms, that when his team of astronauts land on Mars, he will claim the red planet for Elon Musk, Inc.
President Biden reportedly shook his head upon hearing that remark and replied that it ain’t gonna happen. He then noted that Mars already belongs to the United States government as per one of his hundreds of Presidential Executive Orders (PEO-90427).
Musk replied that if he is cheated out of owning Mars then he’ll simply buy Delaware and condemn the entire state.
The president angrily said that if he does that, then he and Vice-President Kamala Harris will take him behind the nearest Jack-in-the-Box, and beat the heck out of him, within reason of course.
Musk said that he has 12 bodyguards with him at all times. President Biden smiled and stated that he’s got access to 3,000 Secret Service agents, 5,000 members of the Green Berets, not to mention 72 or so mean-as-hell MME ultimate fighters.
In a Non-Related Story. Boom Boom News is reporting that the former first lady Melania Trump is so depressed, she is eating non-stop, and has already gained 42 pounds.