Singing Star To Change Her Stage Name To Dodge Criticism

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 1 April 2021

image for Singing Star To Change Her Stage Name To Dodge Criticism
The singer dreaming of being free of her daft name

International singing sensation Dildo has said she is considering changing her stage name to something a bit more 'normal', after she claimed she has begun to attract both criticism and resentment from people who say that her name reminds them of something else.

At first glance, it's easy to see why the chanteuse, born the rather cumbersome Florence Clodhopper Bratwurst O'Flaherty Pigsty, felt it necessary to change her name, but not quite so easy to understand why she settled on the alias she did.

She told Emma Royds of Music Bullshit magazine:

"It might well seem incredibly naïve of me to have chosen a stage name that so closely resembles that 'something else', but, I can assure you, the very idea never crossed my mind."

And she went on:

"I honestly didn't realise that it was going to attract so much negative attention, or that I was inviting so much bloody stick. And, for such a long time, no bugger even mentioned it. Now, after all this time, it's suddenly become an issue! I've just about had enough of it! Bloody hell and Christ!"

Dildo says that she he has struggled with the ignominy of her weird name "for long enough", and has now devoted several months to shortlisting new names which won't be quite so controversial.

Amongst these 'alternative monikers', according to the star, are Riddler, Trembla, Pussy Shaftoe, Fanny Grinder, and Pleasure Stick.

She is due to make a final decision later today.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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