LONDON – (Satire News) – Popular British journalist and television personality Piers Stefan Pughe-Morgan wants the entire world to know that contrary to what a certain member of Ireland’s Bohemian F.C. has said, along with thousands of other folks, blokes, mates, dandies, dudes, fellas, bros, and guys, he is not now, nor has he ever been a member of the Ku Klux Klan.
He thinks that the rumor probably started after he told a reporter with London's Ta Ta For Now News that he felt that too many of the NBA basketball players were black.
Morgan said he has never even met a member of the Ku Klux Klan. He then added that furthermore he would never be caught dead wearing one of those hideously atrocious plain white robes and hoods.
The infamous journalist added that he would rather wear a ballerina’s shocking pink outfit than those burlap-like atrocities, that homeless people in Guatemala wouldn't even wear.
He said that he did try one on once, when he was working in the United States, but he said it itched like hell, it smelled like raw sewage, and it gave him the runs.
Piers said that he spoke to his BFF, the Queen, and she has offered for him to stay at Balmoral Castle until the rumors of his involvement with a white extremist supremist group die down.
In the meantime, Morgan says that he plans on writing a tell-all-book on Meghan Markle, Prince Harry, and little bitty Archie.