An Elderly Couple Names The Top 10 Things To Do and Not To Do While Sheltering-In-Place

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 20 January 2021

image for An Elderly Couple Names The Top 10 Things To Do and Not To Do While Sheltering-In-Place
Caleb and Stephanie relaxing on their Louisiana bayou estate, Chateau Ooh La La.

Caleb and Stephanie Finkfeister, of Pelican Balls, Louisiana, recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. Caleb retired 9 years ago from working as a pet guide at the Pelican Balls Petting Zoo. Stephanie is still working for herself, making women’s jewelry out of jellyfish skin.

Caleb & Stephanie's List of 10 Things To Do and Not To Do While Sheltering-in-Place

* Don’t laugh at each other’s intimate body parts.

* Count each other’s freckles, and this can not only be fun, but educational as well.

* Put ice cubes in each other's underwear, and see who is the first to yell out an expletive.

* Watch Tucker Carlson, and try not to get freaked out by his creepy-as-hell facial expression.

* Try real hard to recall the last time you had sexual intercourse without pointing (or the last time you had sexual intercourse, period).

* Think up funny sounding names for each other’s private parts (foreign words and terms are allowed).

* See who can go the longest without scratching your pubic region.

* Make a concerted effort to not give the cat the parakeet’s food, or the parakeet the cat's food.

* Count the times that Rudy Giuliani's eyeballs suddenly get big as hell, and get the size of effing ping pong balls.

* Do remember not to brush your teeth with Preparation H, or put Colgate toothpaste up your ass.

The Finkfeisters want to wish everyone a Safe & Happy Valentine's Day.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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